You’re pissed off at your partner. All the time. Everything he or she does makes you want to tear your hair out. You want to howl out the window to the world, “I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”
I hear ya.
Unfortunately, I literally hear ya. Your shouting penetrates the walls of your abode and is starting to create a neighborhood disturbance. I imagine your children are cringing in the far corners of their rooms.
Is this necessary?
I know, I know. Your ex is so stupid/insane/controlling that you just can’t help but lose it. But you need to get a grip. First, try to put your kids’ feelings first. They don’t deserve to be punished for what is basically your and your spouse’s fault. The Fine Divorcée has one rule and one rule only: keep the kids out of the turmoil.
Believe me, I’ve been there, so I know what it’s like—I get a very nice high from yelling at the top of my lungs. But when in a disagreement with your spouse, consider your short and long-term futures. Will screaming at each other help to resolve the issues? Will it make it better between you? I can vouch that it does neither. In fact, it will only hinder your goal of getting what you want.
Here are some small suggestions to let off your steam while avoiding the repercussions of an angrier spouse, frightened children and anxious neighbors:
a) Rant and rave alone in the shower. This is the perfect venue to let it all out because no one can see your not-so-attractive red and swollen face. Plus your tears just wash down the drain. Note: lock the door to avoid a worst-case scenario, and turn on the fan for extra sound insulation.
b) Head to the garage, get in your car, turn up the hard rock tunes past 10 and commence screaming. It’s advisable to do this from your garage instead of actually scream-driving, because the last thing you need is your spouse now yelling at you about the dent you just put in the new car. Important: do not start car unless you are exiting garage!
c) Sign up for a boxing class. I swear this is the ultimate way to take out all your stress. Not only can you visualize your partner’s face on that boxing bag as you pound away, you will also end up getting into top shape. No yelling necessary, just some serious grunting. And you’ll be much too wiped out and high on endorphines to even think about picking a fight afterwards.
d) If all else fails, take a photo of your partner shrieking at you and have him or her do the same for you. Believe me, it will make both of you think twice before attempting that highly unfashionable look again.
Screaming is a great way to relieve stress. Just remember that it also causes significant stress to others who might be in your presence. So have the presence of mind to be alone when doing it. (Note to self: do as you blog.)
Of course, if you want to yell out to the world how much you love your partner, then I say hallelujah. Just maybe don’t jump up and down on the couch on Oprah while doing so. A little too Tom-Cruisy/Charlie-Sheeny in my humble opinion.
I believe it’s that time again—time for a fine coffee break, with maybe a little something sweet to accompany the caffeine.
—The Fine Divorcée
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